Have you heard of Instacanvas? It is a instagram-ers dream come true! Basically it’s a gallery for your instagram pictures. People can buy your pictures on a canvas. Pretty cool huh? The kicker. You have to have enough people request a gallery opening before your permitted to have your items sold. Can you help me open my gallery? This is mainly so I can get pictures printed for myself and family. Have you seen all the empty walls in my house?! To help please click here and once your at the website just click on “request gallery opening.” That’s all you have to do for me. You don’t have to give an email or like the site on facebook. Thank you. Thank you.
I have felt under attack mentally this last week. I don’t know how else to put it. It seems my every thought, word and action has been questioned or looked down upon. This isn’t like me. I’m a pretty positive person with a good outlook on life. I think it is an outcome of thoughts and frustrations that have been building for a while. Probably since the day I brought my firstborn home from the hospital. In every other job I’ve ever had in life I’ve had training and evaluations. I was told what to do and how to do it. I was told by my boss where I was excelling and where I needed improvement.There is no training and evaluation in motherhood. We are left with books and trying to figure out which best represents our parenting style that we can follow (what new parent has time to read anyway?) We are left to look at other mothers? We are left with scripture. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Does that really mean I should spank my child? Train a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it. What way is that? How do I do that? We are left to think we have to get our bodies back in a month or less. Our houses need to be spic and span. Dinner on the table by the time dad gets home. Lead moms group. Make the cookies, don’t buy them. Don’t let your kids watch tv before they turn 2. Feed them only organic.
As mothers we are flooded with messages telling us how we should or shouldn’t raise our kids. But how often do we really talk about motherhood? Talk about what our day to day truly looks like? Where we struggle? I once had a mother tell me “don’t tell anyone, but I have someone clean my house once a week.” Why is this a secret!? It just feeds into the lie that we have to make it look like we can do it all as mothers. That we don’t need help. Are we really authentic with those around us? I struggle with this too. I want to look like I have it all together. I don’t lie, but I don’t always give a full honest answer.
So I have to ask myself:
What does it look like to be authentic?
Who can I be more authentic with?
What picture am I painting for other mothers?
What areas can I tell myself It’s ok that I _________
It could be that It’s ok that I don’t have my office papers neatly organized, I don’t wash my floors each week, I am not back to pre-pregnancy weight and have the spare tire to prove it, I don’t handmake everything, I do feed my kids mac n’ cheese and chicken nuggets, or somedays my kids watch tv all day.
But I have to be honest with myself too and give myself a pat on the back and say I’m thankful that I do a really good job with ____________.
Maybe it’s I’m thankful that I do a really good job with reading to my kids each night, giving them lots of hugs and kisses, being patient, cooking dinner and really enjoying it, building forts with my kids or taking time to listen to each silly detail of a story that doesn’t make any sense.
As a mother I need to listen to myself. What messages am I sending other mothers? What lies am I believing and trying to live up to? Am I encouraging other mothers? I want to be more like that old lady in the following the story. In the midst of my tough week I took the kids to the new frozen yogurt place. It was their lunch. After this picture was taken an old lady came up to me smiling and said “I just love that you don’t have a bib on her. You truly win mother of the year award for letting her get so messy.” I about cried. That lady had no idea what I had been feeling all week. It was the bit of encouragement I needed.
A new love of mine is the dollar section at Target. I prep the kids ahead of time that they can each pick one thing. It is right at the entrance of the store. We head in, pick the favored items and get on with the rest of the shopping. The toy section is never even mentioned after this. Thank goodness. My last attempt at having both kids out of the cart in the toy section (I know, what in the world was I thinking) ended with me ditching my cart and carrying Eva to the bathroom with a bloody lip. Anyway, Soren picked a foam sword, Eva a coloring book and I snagged two garden rock paint sets. $4 total for these items. Love it. The kids painted the rocks today, I never knew how in to painting Eva would be. I think the following pictures show her focus.
I LOVE being creative. I LOVE making things from scratch. I am that person who is always on Pinterest looking for new things to do with burlap and a mason jar. That being said, I am not the type of person that feels the need to make everything from scratch and present it beautifully every time. Part of it is that I just don’t like drawing attention to myself or having people think that that is what I am trying to do. I’m ok buying the veggie tray and bringing it to a party. I’m ok buying a pie in a box from the bakery for a celebration. I’m learning my limits and my confidence does not rest in what others think of the food that I bring to an event.
For Soren’s 4th birthday he was allowed to bring cupcakes into school. When I asked him what kind he wanted he was a little unsure, so I introduced him to google. I typed in cupcake and showed him the image results. He didn’t go for the plain vanilla with sprinkled frosting. He went right for the chocolate cupcake with a chocolate covered cherry complete with a chocolate covered leaf. I agreed to it, minus the leaf.
If you have dipped any food in chocolate then you know what the results look like when you set the food down on a flat surface to dry, an ugly flat spot on one side of the food. I’m sure I’m not the first to think of this myself, but I started using one of those foam rings used for making wreaths. It works great for anything from chocolate dipped cherries to cake pops (which I hate making by the way).
Carrying the cupcakes into school he was so proud and excited to show everyone. He had picked out the cupcake liners; pink for the girls, orange for the boys. I was slightly embarrassed. It was one of those moments that I didn’t want the others parents to think I was trying to be showy. This is truly what Soren wanted. After all was said and done I asked Soren how it went at school with the cupcakes. He said none of the other kids ate the cherries so he didn’t want to either. All that work and no one ate the cherries. Oh well. He said he had fun and it was a great day for him.
Random things that unexpectedly made me smile this week.
Now that the flowers (or weeds) are blooming, Soren likes to pick them and bring them to me.
This is how Soren puts the toys away. His pirate hat on Eva’s doll.
Checking on the kids outside and seeing them holding hands.
After taking this picture…
I found Eva like this saying “cheeese. cheeese.”